Silent, deadly, and called Bruce.
What’s the saying? You gotta walk the walk not talk the talk?
Well a promo ninja looks like a ninja, moves like a ninja but when you look under the hood, there is Bruce, or Marg, peeking up at you. Yes, don’t interrupt my lecture, ninjas DO have hoods. In this story, they do.
If you have a book to get out there, into the wide world, you have to be good at promo, right? There are hundreds and hundreds of posts on the net about how to do it right, about how to be a promo whore. Get that book in FRONT of the people. Yes?
Well I have read those posts, some of them, or at least sniffed the screen they were printed on, and I have my own method. No one else can tell you the Promo (Bruce) Ninja method.
What do they tell you? Get followers. Get tweets going that are 80 percent you and 20 percent promo so you don’t bore the peeps. Peeps are people who have lost their ole! Ahem. Moving on.
The ninja method – all your tweets are promo. Books books books. Get in, tweet your book, get out. Why? Because Twitter is shit scary.
What the hell are you supposed to DO on there? It’s like being on a highway and all the people are going one way, at 200 km per hour in everything from space shuttle sized semi-trailers to mini buses to prams, and NONE of them have brakes, and you’re standing there, in the middle, bug-eyed, screaming and flailing your arms.
So, what do you do? Run! Tweet and run like effin mad before those little fuckers flatten you like the eency weency insignificant bug that you are!
Next we shall cover facebook.
I know about facebook. There are a lot of people on there too. But at least they stop and talk. No panicking on fb. Just remember to share all those picture of cats stuck in milk bottles and men with muscles, tell everyone about the last time you had sex and flashed your boobs at the neighbor and you will be fine. Books? Yeah those too.
Until I joined facebook I never realized how much we all love philosophy.
Like, who would have known that in a Zombie Apocalypse, Americans would either --
Kill a zombie – 5 percent
Search for a cure – 5 percent
Look for their missing loved one – 5 percent
Or Taste delicious – 85 percent
Wow. See? Amazing knowledge.
And I never knew that cats were so damn good at comedy.
What’s next? Umm.
The Promo Ninja never posts about their books. They write completely unrelated posts about stupid things that might be either funny, stupid, irrelevant , or all three. Though sometimes they may also tell you very important things like what to do in a zombie apocalypse.
Naah too hard. Forget it.
There. I award you the Mauve belt of the tenth order Promo Ninja.
Have a nice day.
Only one day to go and Lust Plague will be here. To resist the Zombie F virogen bend over, stick that butt in the air and take it like a woman! It's never too late to get something sharp and nasty stuck in a naughty part of your anatomy. Or something blunt and not so nasty for those in the mood.
There's no guarantee this inoculation will work so be prepared. Load up your zombie blasting shotguns, sharpen your teeth, and keep a close eye on your neighbor. At the first sign of a shambling walk, slurred talk or a tendency to want to get down and dirty with someone of the opposite sex...RUN!
Yes, in the early stages of the Zombie F plague in my steampunk world, the zombies do get an urge or two. But, hold onto your airships, this is not the story of the zombies.
This is the story of two zombie-killers extraordinaire, Sten and Kaysana. Never have two heroes worn goggles so well. With the aid of a steampunk mechanical contraption or two, oodles of ingenuity, and a wolf called Cadrach, they aim to eliminate the source of the plague.
Do zombies get massacred in a gory undead way? Yes!
Do Sten and Kaysana succumb to fleshly urges, lose all willpower and have sex in some most peculiar places whilst utilizing leather, the hood ornament of a steam-powered cycle, a pussy cat costume and maybe even a pond full of koi? Who knows! But it sounds good to me.
Go get my book at Loose Id March 27th. And while you're there, stick your butt in the air and maybe they'll give you a free injection of something bright red that hopefully will stop you turning into a zombie. Ab-sol-lutely NO guarantees available. It's probably red cordial. But Lust Plague the book is guaranteed to blow your socks off.
Link to sample of Lust Plague
Buylink to Loose Id click here
18 plus post - ADULTS ONLY
I was tagged by Leia Shaw for a fun lucky seven post. Here's the rules then my lucky seven.
1. Go to page 77 in your current manuscript
2. Go to line 7
3. Copy down the next seven lines as they are - no cheating
4. Tag 7 other authors (I did it on facebook since I don't follow blogs here)
Here's my lucky seven. And yes, I didn't cheat. Dankyo is always lucky...and naughty.
Even just this, holding her down, was enough to keep his cock standing at rock-hard attention. Nothing he’d done with Kirsten could compare. Nothing.
How far would she let him go? No. How far would he go? She’d said yes. But…
He pitched his voice low, so no one else could hear.
“You said you’re a woman where yes means yes and no means no. From now on, I trust you to keep to that. But you must trust me not to hurt you. Yes?”
IRON DOMINANCE, my first book in the Steamworks Chronicles series, is a nominee for Best Erotic/ GLBT steampunk at The Romance Reviews.
Go vote if you loved my book :) http://www.theromancereviews.com/bookvote.php
Very very delighted that the second erotic romance I ever wrote is getting more accolades.
This book is an m/f BDSM romance for those who've not read it.
And just to show how good the timing is, the second book in the series, Lust Plague, is being released in a few days, by Loose Id, on March 27th.
I still have the Authors After Dark nomination for Best Steampunk for Iron Dominance running too! But that's not chosen until August.
18 plus excerpt.I feel like doing a six sentence thing again. Six sentence Tuesday? Whatever.
A sneak peek at Steel Dominance -- we're at an evening gathering in the city that once was Constantinople, but is now Istanbul. In my world, it's still called Byzantium. Dankyo and Sofia explore their attraction to each other.
The sight of Sofia lying before him, mostly naked, on her back on the table, waiting for whatever he might choose to do…god help him, it was a heady sensation. Kirsten had been totally different. They'd never found common ground. The few others at the Machine Room had not meant anything to him. He'd never had a woman truly offer herself up to him. This was not something he would rush.
I need a picture!
What of? Hmmm. A table? I'll see what I can find. Ahh, this below is better than a table.
Though edits for other books distracted me for a while, as did my evil crit partner Leia Shaw, I'm on 22,000 words today. Forging ahead into a labyrinth of intrigue, romance, mystery and bondage. Oh, and Dankyo says he's adding in more spanking and impact play, because that's what he likes.
I'm not sure I agree with that. Maybe we should talk. Or I can write while he's not looking...
Lust Plague is coming. Out March 27th from Loose Id
And dust off your zombie exterminating shotgun too.
So here's my latest six sentences. From my steampunk zombie extravaganza, that's also a BDSM romance.
Sten has been having words with Kaysana and has decided to end the argument by grabbing her hair and kissing her...
When he stopped, she found her chest heaving, and her snappy answers had fled. His hand moved lightly down to her neck. Little creases appeared at the corners of his eyes like he’d found something amusing.
“Much better. Maybe I should remember this way of closing your mouth. More fun than a gag.”
If you want to join the Six Sentence Sunday fun as an author, or find the next blog participating Click here
Use the hashtag #sixsunday to spread the word on Twitter.
If you're curious and want to read an excerpt from Lust Plague, click the cover below.
Lust Plague - HANG onto YOUR goggles!!
The zombs are coming, and Sten is coming too, with shotgun in one hand and Kaysana in the other. Here's my six sentences from my steampunk lust-laden zombie extravaganza.
They’d just had sex while a shipload of people up there were turning into zombies and he’d tied her up.
“I think we went a bit nuts.”
“Ya don’t say.” She licked her lips, kept her eyes shut. The even tone radiated calmness. “Now can you untie me?"
Joining six sentence sunday can be fun! To join in, and find other participating writers, go here six sentence sunday
On twitter use the hashtag #sixsunday
Come say hello if you can and learn about our book and read some excerpts!
3/1 - Interview and Giveaway @ Close Encounters of the Night Kind
3/5 - Guest post @ Tamaria Soana
3/8 - Character interview @ Sara Trimble
3/9 - Interview @ Sexxy Blogger
3/12 - Guest post @ C.S.Maxwell
3/14 - Interview @ Mike Woody
3/15 - Guest blog @ Books-n-Kisses
3/19 - Interview @ You Gotta Read
3/20 - Book spotlight @ Marlene Sanchez
3/22 - Character interview @ Sexxy Blogger
3/25 - Guest post @ W.Lynn Chantale
3/27 - Interview @ Ella Jade
3/28 - Guest post @ Galadra Inn Books
Join my reader list and get a free eBook
Copyright Cari Silverwood 2011. All rights reserved. No part of these publications may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the author.
Cari Silverwood is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.
Cari Silverwood is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling writer of kinky darkness or sometimes of dark kinkiness, depending on her moods and the amount of time she's spent staring into the night.
Follow Cari Silverwood on...
Book review sites