Fear of Failure and TSTL Heroines

This blog started out as a way for me to discuss the things that bother me as a writer -- words, characters, why some women scream when they orgasm, do zombies get dandruff. Simple as that. 

For me it’s no longer a matter of How to write but rather how to get my mind into a state where I CAN write. I know I can write. I have 2 lovely books out there and published, of which I’m very proud, and a third due out next year of which I’m exceptionally proud. Parts of it need knocking into shape but so long as I can shovel my brains back into my head in time it may turn out to be my little masterpiece.

You see not only do I procrastinate but I also have fear of failure and the two go together so fricking well. I’ve succeeded in weaning myself off Goodreads and now I’ve found another group where we discuss BDSM books until the cows come home. Damn you all. The cows that is. So I have to wean myself off that too. LOL

Professional writers can do 3 to 4 thousand words a day. And I’ve done so in the past. On a good day I can write forever. Or see forever. I live on a mountain. So that’s my goal. But they have to be good words. Ugh. Fear of failure arrives. Now if I can only kick it aside. Think I’ll give it the pet name of FOF. Maybe that way I can collar it and leash it, and tie it to a bench and spank it.

So, onward to writing -- discussing my characters. My current WIP (work in progress ) is nearing the end and my heroine, Kaysana, has decided to do something that makes her unlikeable. I gave her a lovely Dom man and she’s rejecting him because of family honor and her career. Sten is a very huggable hunk who can easily handle hordes of ravening raised men (my evil guys with fiery orange eyes and a taste for rapine and killing) and she rejects him? I’m worried it’ll tarnish his Dom image. Then again, I look at real life and how many women have ditched a man because it’ll trash their career? Oodles and oodles I would imagine.

What she’s done is sensible, and it makes me want to grab her and say, “You stupid stupid woman!” So for her TSTL stands for Too Stupid to LIKE. 

I need to vent.

Come here little FOF. Get on that bench and show me your ass. And no you’re not orgasming. Really, how many other people’s FOFs ever orgasm?

WHACK. Count baby, count.

If this is my FOF maybe I need a bigger paddle?